Saturday, June 29, 2013

There is Nothing to Fear but Everything

Let me clarify something:  I am not scared of the dark.  I love the dark.  Every night I make the dark my bitch and I take that bitch to bed.  Sometimes, I even play soft music to get it in the mood. Sure, the light gets to see me nakie all the time but the dark... the dark gets to be with me between the sheets.   Real intimate and such. Awwwww yeaaaaaaaa...  So no, you judgmental bastards, I am not afraid at all.  I'm not even looking for a pat on the back for the insane amount of bravery I display every single frakkin night!  I just want to talk to you.  Make sure you're not scared.

It is only when you have no control over the dark that you realize what it is you are actually afraid of.  I know this is something we both share.  It is not the darkness but those things potentially lingering in its unseen depths.  How many times have you seen a spider in the shower, watching you with all those dirty little spider eyes and thinking dirty little spider things?  All the time, right?!  They just watch you, plotting, waiting for the dark to come so they can dance in your mouth and crap on your tongue.

Other things that happen in the dark:  Closet stuff.  Don't act like you don't know what I mean.  If your closet is opened even the slightest bit, there will be some small sound from with in.  Everyone knows this means there is something in there.  When the lights are out, that something is free to creep out and slice you with its razor sharp talons and lick you with it's slithery tongue.  I'm pretty sure the closet thing also has tentacles.  Yup... tentacles.
Seriously... this scary beast is lurking in your closet right now.

Not worried about closet thing?  Spiders have no impact on your day to day goings?  Ok.  Let me introduce you to the I-don't-know-what in the bathroom.  All I know is that if the bathroom door is open when I go to bed, my head spins around like I need an exorcist and I squeal like a breast fed baby being denied the tittay.  I can not be in a dark room adjacent to a bathroom with it's door open.  Just passing by in the dark can result in leathery hands grabbing and pulling you into the mysterious portal you can't see with the lights on.  Also, I'm pretty sure bathrobes and towels can come to life and eat your soul.  Pretty sure about that...
We could go on all day about what's under your bed...

Ok, this all sounds very much like being afraid of the dark.  It really isn't.  It's the fear of not knowing what's breathing on your neck behind you.   The fear of what's crawled up through the cracks and is wrapping around your ankles.  I don't like the things that like the dark.  Like beady eyed trolls with sharp teeth that live under your bed.  Or perhaps the long nailed creature rapping against the window glass when you try to sleep.  Have you ever thought you were alone in a room, late at night, only to look out the window and see a pair of glowing eyes staring back at you?  I have.  No shit, I really have.  Whoever decided ranch homes in urban areas were a good idea never knew a stalker. You never forget the feel of the spastic heart palpitations and the sudden stop as your brain tries to piece together what it's seen and what it believes... The pressure that builds in your chest as you try to rationalize your fears...  The scream you deny yourself due to unrealistic and seemingly imagined horrors and the unexpected sweaty hands that reach around and muffle any noise you try to make as it pulls you down beneath your regrets, your secrets and all of your failed dreams.

Now is not a good time to look behind you.  I'd grab your weapon first.  Snuggle up and sleep with a night-light tonight, darlings.  Hope you wake in the morning... pretty and prepared!

1 comment:

  1. There's always some weird piece of yarn on the floor that is suddenly a centipede. No, we don't have them here. <3