Monday, August 26, 2013

Minions, Comics and Miles Away

Although my heart will always be with dead things, being a Mummy means interacting with the living on occasion.  Play dates are TORTURE! And PTA fundraiser events?!  I don't want to even think about 'em!! On the plus side, the minions make embracing the rest of our geek side that much more exciting!  A day has not gone by without a Superhero.  Our home has a very contemporary decor with accents of Batman, Star Wars and skulls.  We add a hint of apple juice to everything to remind us we procreated.  Each stain is a memory...

The best part is that the two miniature villains the man-meat and I created both LOVE comics!  In fact, for the upcoming local Comic-Con, I will be making my first cosplay costumes FOR THEM!
The Diva will be Hawkgirl, her choice.
Little man, scariest Scarecrow ever.
There will be pictures.  I am so EXCITED!!!

Until then, we spend much of our bonding time enjoying the efforts of other geeks way more creative than us.  Speaking of talented geeks...  

                                                                                                                                                                                               Remember this guy?  Perhaps you had a little crush on him when he played Ensign Travis Mayweather on Star Trek: Enterprise ?  Not saying I did... My husband reads this...                                                                                                     Turns out, not only did actor Anthony Montgomery showcase his hot stuff in a series beloved by nerds the world over, he happens to also be a real lover of science fiction.  That makes him hot NERDY stuff! If I had noticed...                                                                                                                                   Well Anthony, I'm sure he won't mind if I call him Anthony, had an idea and that idea eventually was made into the graphic novel, Miles Away.
The story follows a seemingly average teenager, Maxwell Miles, in the future as he misses his parents, awkwardly talks to girls and battles aliens.  Oh?  What was that last one?  Aliens! Max is also discovering more about his unusual super photographic reflexes, which he uses in an interstellar war, revealing more of his families own secrets.  Normal teenage stuff.  

As you know, I am dark and twisted and prefer the creepiest things in life.  So when I started this I had a hard time getting into it.  Something was off... I needed my little Batman Villain for this one.  

All this comic needed was the proper audience to become amazing!  Going forth, this review is partly written by Mad Max.  
What I liked: It's a great story, well written and intricate. It's clearly thought out and this one lays the framework for a wild ride. Every kid wants to be a super hero.  Anthony Montgomery just happened to make one modeled after himself and give him a super cool ability to mimic OTHER abilities.  I think it's clever.  The kid also gets to beat up old men,which I gave really cool voices to and that was pretty hilarious! They are bad guy, alien old men working for a REALLY bad guy named Madame Iniquity so they do deserve it. Also, I thought the Alien art was amazing!  There were so many new creatures and the images were a delight to look at.  What say you Mad Max?  I liked the pictures, the dog people and all of the kids special powers!  My baby has such a way with words.

What made me say 'meh': I didn't like when it [the story line] went to space and it didn't go back to Future Earth and continue the rest of the story.  I must agree with the little man.  Even though by the end, the story on Ro'Twyla and Future Earth came together, I would have liked to see them integrated into each other.  It's almost easy to forget about the characters in the first part of the story. On top of that, there is A LOT of story! Much is crammed into these pages. Also not a fan of the dog people planet named "Ro'Twyla"( hello, I'm Kitty!) and the Bureau of Ultimate Underground Technology (B.U.U.T.).  A bit juvenile for my tastes... right now at least.  HAHAHAHA!  I thought that was so funny!!  Butt, Butt, Butt!!  Target audience acquired.

Who should read this book: Fans of Young Justice, Ben 10, Teen Titans and those that enjoy uncorrupted, none dirty and twisted superhero stories.  It kinda reminds of Transformers with the space stuff and monsters. My lad is a bit young for this story, this is more for older kids, young adults and those that are young hearted.  He obviously still enjoys it and I enjoyed it significantly more sharing it with him.  The story is smart and written with a wonderful vocabulary, some I needed to explain to him. I see this as a positive. 

Who should wait this one out: Those looking for The Walking Dead or other dark, twisted or even inappropriate things.  I don't think Grandma will like it...

Recommended: If not for Mad Max, I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much. If you're in the targeted audience go for it but I'm not suggesting this one at my book club.  As I said before, this isn't my normal read and it needs to be your thing.  When can we read the next one? I really like it.

Overall: A teenager with a unique ability to mimic any skill or power he sees is recruited to save two worlds? Pretty Awesome.  The story has a lot of potential and is beautifully drawn.  It's every kids fantasy brought to life.  I played Ghostbusters and princess and secret spy when I was a kid but I can see Miles Away as the new pretend-time game.  I give the graphic novel 3 delicious brains on a platter and the little man... <<holds up 5 fingers and makes goofy face>>... He gives Miles Away 5 out of 5 and eagerly awaits the chance to read the follow up.  For the sake of compromise, the official Pretty & Putrid and Zombie World News sister site review is 4 not-fully-decomposed brains!

I loved the opportunity to read something new and even more so, to share it with my minion.  He's reaction here only partially conveys his excitement over Miles Away.  Not only was this a special thing he shared with his Mummy, it was one he identified with. Reading this comic made me ponder what other stories we've missed and also what an exciting experience it really is to share with kids.  What else should my mini-villains read?  Perhaps they'll pick up something new at Comic-con... Until then, I'd love to hear what comics the other Mummys and Deadys are reading to their spawn before the world ends.  Hope you are also teaching them to stay Pretty and Prepare!

For more about Miles Away visit the web site:

Anthony Montgomery's Facebook:

Anthony Montgomery's Twitter:

Miles Away Facebook:

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Ben Who-Fleck or Ben Bat-Fleck

Ok, no surprise I'm a Batman fan.  I've never been secretive about my love.  He is so dreamy...

One of the reasons I fantasize about being Catwoman is to seduce the Dark Knight.  So, I obviously have opinions about this "news."  You know what I'm talking about.

Ben Who-Fleck! As Mango would say, "You can't have the Batman!"

My first reaction was obviously heated anger but was it really directed at Ben?  Probably not.  The problem is change sucks like a monkey funker.  I've already loved other Batmans and I've already had others break my heart... ahem... Clooney.  Sure, the first thing to come to mind was Daredevil.  Is Zack Snyder about to get all Val Kilmer on the Man of Steel Sequel?

I doubt it.  Man of Steel was fantastic and it's sequel is just that... a sequel.  It's NOT a Batman movie.  Bruce Wayne will probably show up to flaunt his baller life style and clean up the city. Maybe Metropolis is in ruins because a few Kryptonians couldn't keep it in check and just maybe the people are tired of Superman and his smug attitude.  They want a real hero... that doesn't have to level an entire city to win a battle.    But I digress... Affleck could totally pull off Bruce Wayne.  In fact, he's perfect.  Maybe he won't even wear the cowl.

Whenever I hear Batman whispering in my ear, it's always Kevin Conroy and I believe Affleck could... yup... I mean could... do the Batman the Animated Series style Batman well.  I know I just brought animation into this but my point is our favorite characters always get reinvented.  I didn't flip out over Ledger because his smile was perfect to copy Nicholson and then the character was reinvented.  I was terrified to see Hathaway as Catwoman and was absolutely impressed with the interpretation.  Maybe Ben is not the Batman we want but he is the Batman we need.  Maybe he will even be a Batman that speaks coherently and without excess saliva flying all over the place. I don't know but I'll give him a chance.

In other news...
Bryan Cranston as Lex Luthor


Glad we had a chance to talk about this.  More dead things to come... until next time, Stay pretty and prepare!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Book Review: Skarlet

If you’ve ever read a book involving any virus or monster related epidemic (or even seen a similar movie), you know there are two ways the creator can handle it: 1. Explain the origin story and hope the reader buys it or 2. Have the characters just accept the circumstances as they are.  If they choose the later, the audience is free to speculate and come to their own conclusions or often, critique the author for being too lazy to explain it themselves.  If the writer explains the origin, they will often get picked apart for credibility.  We readers are BRUTAL to writers… In Skarlet, the new vampire novel by Thomas Emson, he chooses to successfully explain the origins, combining it with mysticism and science.  He creates unlikely allies, unique foes and gives them a twisted and dark backstory spanning the years. 
A mysterious new drug, only with the marking “S” has made it’s way into one of London’s dance club, despite the best efforts of Jake Lawton, one of the clubs bouncers.  Unfortunately, the partiers find that this is a drug with lasting affect.  Everyone who tried it soon convulses and dies.  Yet, unlike most hard drugs that end in death, this one does not.  After 24 hrs, they all return, thirsty for blood and ready to regain their dominance over the humans. 

Lawton already has a murky past and becomes the perfect scapegoat.  Not only is he eager to clear his name and live a normal life but he also wants to find answers to why the girl he once loved has become cold and blood thirsty.  In order to do so, he must work with the journalist who soiled his name and the dealer responsible.  All the while, London is under attack and no one is safe. 

What I liked: This is a story that weaves many lives together to create a big picture.  I LOVE when stories do this.  Back through time and in present day the story is brilliant linked.  It’s also a nice balance of character development and action.  There were countless “AH-HA” moments when a character is revealed and you see a connection.  The vampires also have a nice amount of primal grit. I like that.

What made me say meh: This is the first book of the Vampire Trinity.  Unfortunately, it means do not expect closure.  Even knowing that this story is to be continued, I felt like the action packed scenes at the end were lacking a little depth.   I suppose with so many characters, it would have been tough to tie off loose ends in one book.   I’ll read the sequel but I’ll walk to the store.  I won’t run.

Who should read this book: If you want a good thriller with a solid story, this is it!  It’s well told and very well planned.  It has action, gore, history and romance.  All is tastefully done.

Who should wait this one out: Not for people who want non-stop action or super-duper gore.  This story moves at a very steady and comfortable pace.

Recommended:  Yes.  I enjoyed the book.  It reminded me slightly of a less intense version of The Strain (Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan).  There are definitely similarities but where The Strain keeps the reader in fear, Skarlet makes you feel like there is still hope for humanity. 

Overall: Drugs used to help Vampires take over the world?  Yea, that’s different.  Unusual allies and mysterious connections add an interesting spin to the classic bloodsucker.  I give this book 3 brains and a mangled torso (3 ¾ stars… dropped a ¼ because of the ending) or 4 ancient coffins since we’re dealing with Vampires.

You can read my review for A Book of Horrors here.

Also, many other reviews are on here.

AND if you're feeling a little extra nosy, follow me on Goodreads.  I love talking about what I'm reading!  Till next time darlings, I'm sure it will be amazing, stay pretty and prepare!!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

There is Nothing to Fear but Everything

Let me clarify something:  I am not scared of the dark.  I love the dark.  Every night I make the dark my bitch and I take that bitch to bed.  Sometimes, I even play soft music to get it in the mood. Sure, the light gets to see me nakie all the time but the dark... the dark gets to be with me between the sheets.   Real intimate and such. Awwwww yeaaaaaaaa...  So no, you judgmental bastards, I am not afraid at all.  I'm not even looking for a pat on the back for the insane amount of bravery I display every single frakkin night!  I just want to talk to you.  Make sure you're not scared.

It is only when you have no control over the dark that you realize what it is you are actually afraid of.  I know this is something we both share.  It is not the darkness but those things potentially lingering in its unseen depths.  How many times have you seen a spider in the shower, watching you with all those dirty little spider eyes and thinking dirty little spider things?  All the time, right?!  They just watch you, plotting, waiting for the dark to come so they can dance in your mouth and crap on your tongue.

Other things that happen in the dark:  Closet stuff.  Don't act like you don't know what I mean.  If your closet is opened even the slightest bit, there will be some small sound from with in.  Everyone knows this means there is something in there.  When the lights are out, that something is free to creep out and slice you with its razor sharp talons and lick you with it's slithery tongue.  I'm pretty sure the closet thing also has tentacles.  Yup... tentacles.
Seriously... this scary beast is lurking in your closet right now.

Not worried about closet thing?  Spiders have no impact on your day to day goings?  Ok.  Let me introduce you to the I-don't-know-what in the bathroom.  All I know is that if the bathroom door is open when I go to bed, my head spins around like I need an exorcist and I squeal like a breast fed baby being denied the tittay.  I can not be in a dark room adjacent to a bathroom with it's door open.  Just passing by in the dark can result in leathery hands grabbing and pulling you into the mysterious portal you can't see with the lights on.  Also, I'm pretty sure bathrobes and towels can come to life and eat your soul.  Pretty sure about that...
We could go on all day about what's under your bed...

Ok, this all sounds very much like being afraid of the dark.  It really isn't.  It's the fear of not knowing what's breathing on your neck behind you.   The fear of what's crawled up through the cracks and is wrapping around your ankles.  I don't like the things that like the dark.  Like beady eyed trolls with sharp teeth that live under your bed.  Or perhaps the long nailed creature rapping against the window glass when you try to sleep.  Have you ever thought you were alone in a room, late at night, only to look out the window and see a pair of glowing eyes staring back at you?  I have.  No shit, I really have.  Whoever decided ranch homes in urban areas were a good idea never knew a stalker. You never forget the feel of the spastic heart palpitations and the sudden stop as your brain tries to piece together what it's seen and what it believes... The pressure that builds in your chest as you try to rationalize your fears...  The scream you deny yourself due to unrealistic and seemingly imagined horrors and the unexpected sweaty hands that reach around and muffle any noise you try to make as it pulls you down beneath your regrets, your secrets and all of your failed dreams.

Now is not a good time to look behind you.  I'd grab your weapon first.  Snuggle up and sleep with a night-light tonight, darlings.  Hope you wake in the morning... pretty and prepared!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Pee Time and Crumpets!

Well folks, summer is finally upon us and I don't get what the big effing deal is!  I abhor summer.  It is beautiful, I'll give you that but I don't live at the beach and wake to majestic dolphins swimming with unicorns or watch the sunset with Godzilla or any of that crap.  Summer is hot, humid and everything that bites you wakes up and follows until it can feast upon your sweet honey-flavored blood.  I assume it's delicious.  My jeans spend the season moist with perspiration and everything smells like citronella and my neighbors body odor.  Most importantly, I'm always thirsty.  I hate being thirsty.

 I like drinking coffee and alcohol but not things my body actually needs. This becomes a huge problem especially, say, if the apocalypse happens!... I mean... when it happens.  The need to be properly hydrated becomes increasingly important so you don't die and crap.  Lets not forget the headaches and the lack of candy-coated advil.  I can't imagine that pain relievers will be growing on trees.  More reason to make water your bitch.  

I know what you're thinking... "Kitty, is this really a post telling us to drink more water?"  Nope.  It's about drinking your own pee.  We've already discussed water purification techniques but chances are, no one payed attention.  I bet you're not really prepared either!  Ok, maybe a few of you are.  

Let's just say, you're caught off guard when shit hits the fan, no clean water, it's a gazillion degrees out and you need to release the constantly growing pressure on your bladder.  Are you gonna bag and drink that shit?  Well... hopefully not shiiiiiiiii...... ewwwwwww....

Anyway, Bear Grylls gargles with Honey Badger urine every morning because he wants to remind nature that he don't care.  Afterwards, he starts his day with a nice warm glass of Bear piss.  Bear Grylls Piss. Why? Because he's thirsty and nothing quenches your thirst like pee.   More importantly, he won't be afraid when SHTF and there is no water around.

The question is: will you?  What are you truly willing to do to survive?  Will you snuggle with a bottle of your own liquid waste to keep warm in the winter?  Drink it to stay hydrated in the summer?  I think I know where I fall on this chart...

To be clear, I don't want anyone to have to succumb to the warm elixir of waste.  I certainly don't want to be part of any group that has to partake regularly.  The point is, don't assume water will be plentiful and clean. I won't say this often but stay pretty and prepare or... drink your piss.  The choice is up to you.

Enjoy your summer!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Something Sinister This Way Comes

Besides being preoccupied with ridding the world of ugly, stupid and really ugly, I happen to have a deep love of supporting Independent Artists.  Especially those in the horror community!  These creepy folks put out amazing and gory work that just needs to be lathered all over your brain.  Mmmm....  Brains...

Today I would like to introduce you to  "Sinister Scott" Smale!

"MUAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  I will feed on your soul!"  Ok... maybe he didn't say that...

I am very excited to introduce you to this creepy mastermind because THIS is the artist that designed our brand monkey spanking new pic.... TADA!!!

It's so perfectly grotesque and GOREgeous...

So let's get to know the sinister man behind the art.  I wanted to ask the owner of Triple-S studios some really tough questions, to find out what kind of person Sinister Scott really is...

Kitty: First, we all must know, who is your favorite monster?

Sinister Scott: My favorite monster has always been The Gill-man from Creature of the Black Lagoon.

MY favorite monster...
And his wife!

Kitty: Where are you going when the zombies come?

Sinister Scott: When the zombies come I'm likely to become one fast. I do a lot of zombie makeup effects and I'm pretty sure if a real zombie was to approach me I'd be in awe of the "makeup" job and move in to get a better look, which will likely get me bit.

Kitty: Blade or bullets?

Sinister Scott: Blades, I have a little knife and sword collection.

It may not be zombies we need to prepare for...

Kitty: Are you more of a Governor, Grimes or "Milton of the Apocalypse*" ( TM Torres Vs. Zombies)?

Sinister ScottHmmm. If I lived into the apocalypse, I don't think I would be any of those choices. I'd be more like a Michonne, because I tend to be a loner.

Kitty: Batman or Iron Man

Sinister Scott: I've never been much of a DC Comics fan but I used to collect a lot of Marvel title's so I would have to say Iron Man. Also, I'm on the verge of being deaf and Christian Bale's whispering, gravely voice makes it very hard to enjoy the current Batman movies.

It's The Fett-Man... someone I think we can all agree on.

Kitty: Hmmm... sure he's no Adam West... You're lucky I like your art.  Back to the questions... What is the best way to support your art?

Sinister Scott: I have a nice collection of prints available for purchase and I take commissions for custom art. Sharing my art and my page is huge. Every little bit helps.

Every artist has an amazing backstory!  One of the things I find most fascinating is how they put themselves into their creations and what has fueled the fires.  Here is Scotts official bio:

I remember being in preschool (Barely) and we had to draw a picture of ourselves. I remember what the teacher said about mine, "Look at that he even drew the shoe-laces. Such attention to detail. Keep it up" That was 35+ years ago and I kept drawing ever since (Kinda'). I credit my Grandmother to a lot of my creativity. She would spend hours drawing little shapes or numbers and letters that I would then turn into monsters and people or things, but mostly monsters. It seemed like I was always the favorite in art classes in school. I even had art hanging in the Midwest Museum of Art in Elkhart, IN for the Youth Art in Elkhart when I was in Junior High. That all came to a screeching halt in High School. I was rode hard by the Art teacher, She did not like my choice of subject matter. She would say my art will never go anywhere, or anyone can draw monsters and horrific images. She really turned my love for drawing off. I stopped taking art classes and opted for study-hall instead. I rarely drew anything my Junior or Senior year. In my head, art was dead. It didn't help that shortly after finishing High School the "Fire" happened...Let me explain. I had boxes and boxes of every little doodle. Every piece of art I had ever created, even the self portrait I did in preschool was stored in boxes in my mothers garage. My life was in those boxes. Anyway, my brother, who I am 9 years older than, needed to make some money, so he asked mom if he could clean out the garage. He decided that my boxes of art were no longer needed and piled them in the burn pit and set them ablaze. I didn't find out about it until they were cold, silent ashes, swirling in the breeze. Every piece of art I had ever created had gone, quite literally, up in smoke. I was devastated. It took at least 3 years before I put pen to paper again and let the lines become what they may, but the bursts of creativity were few and far between. From that point on I did a little art here and there. I did ink on a comic book that never even saw print, I designed an image for a local business for his sign and business card. The passion to create art just wasn't there. I have just recently become more involved in my art and I credit it to the inspiration I have found from The Living dead Festival as well as the Horror Artist group that I, as well as other awesome artists are in. Thanks to them I'm having a hard time setting my pencil down.

You can follow Scott on twitter @SinisterScott

You can also check him out on Facebook at Triple-S Studios
                                                               Universal Monster Fan
                                                               Sinister Scott  
Thanks to Scott for the incredible art work and taking the time to share with us!  Make sure to check out his work before the end comes.  Until then, stay pretty and prepare!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

6 Reasons to Hug a Hobo (In the Apocalypse)

Glad you are here.  I have very important information regarding your well being during the impending Apocalypse.  I have good reason to believe I am the zombie industries leading expert in hobointology.  As I have made the field up, there is no possible way anyone else is even remotely qualified to share this information.  Still not sure what this jibber-jabber I speak of is?  Hobos.  I'm talking about freakin, mulligan stew loving, train hopin' hobos (also spelled hoboes.  Apparently both are acceptable but I decided on the former because I like the way it looks.).

First, you needn't worry if I am qualified to be such an esteemed hobointologist.  I am blood related to a former Hobo queen.  Swear to Romero, honest to Fulci truth.  I gots me some hobo blood! And I don't mean I snuck up behind one in a dark ally, stabbed them till their corpse was lifeless and bottled their blood and stole their knapsack.  I mean, part of the family.  Strangely, the rest of the fam is slightly humiliated by this fact and refuses to discuss it in detail.  I can't say I agree with them.  In fact I believe, a hobo in the zompoc may be one of the most useful team members.  Even more so than a pimp or a ho... but if a ho was also a hobo!! This may be the ultimate post-apocalyptic friend.  

He has really good ideas... if you just give him a chance!
Here is a quick rundown as to why you should head down to your local train yard and get to know your traveling savior.

1. Hobos know how to travel by foot and by alternative pathways. When things finally go bad and we find ourselves fleeing from town to town, the highways will be packed!  More importantly it will be at a standstill due to the outpouring of desperate survivors from the cities.  These survivors will soon be lunch... and supper, dinner and a late night snack if they can make it that long. All those panicky people will serve as a beacon to the hungry hordes.  On the other hand, our friendly hobo will be following the railways, even by foot or on another heavily walked path.  These people are known for being on the move and do so rather discreetly.

Current Hobo Hieroglyphs
2. Hobos have their own badass code!   Super serious, one of the coolest things I have learned about these people is their ridiculously awesome system of hieroglyphics.  Their simple symbols alert them of safe areas and dangers when entering a new town.  I think this system can easily be adapted to a zombie apocalypse.  In fact, if we create modifications now, we can spread the word to other survivalists. This way all the people that mocked us while we prepared can unknowingly walk into a town of brain-munchers while we hang out with hobos.  Forgive and forget, right?
Obviously, there is room for improvement.

3. Hobo with a Shotgun was an awesome movie! If you haven't seen it yet, watch it!  It's a hilarious unidentified time piece of goretastic goodness.  Really won't help you in the apocalypse but I surely loved that hobo...

4.  Already have a Post-Apocalyptic Democracy! As I have already mentioned, I have a Hobo Queen in the family but the title of queen is a bit misleading.  Becoming King or Queen is not a birth right.  In the hobo community, to become royalty you need only meet a few criteria and then sign up for the election.  Winner is decided by a round of applause.  He who claps loudest, rules them ALL!!! It's like a popularity contest amongst vagrants.  The best part is once you have been chosen by your people, you receive a crown made from a coffee can.  If that isn't post-apocalyptic resourcefulness, I don't know what is. 

5. Hobos will do your dirty work!  I'm not saying that a hobo will wipe your ass for ya but I'm also not saying that he won't.  I don't imagine that toilet paper will be too plentiful.  I am saying that they strive to show their value to a community by doing the work no one else wants to do.  Carry out your dead?  Clean the guts off your machete?  Hobo got your back!  Although they have no plans on settling down, they'd like to be welcomed back.  So, no more fights over poop-pail doody...duty.  

6. "Hobo knife fight" had to start somewhere...right?   You here it ALL the time.  "Lost my kidney to a hobo in a knife fight!"  Or "We'll see if he can last in a hobo knife fight!"  You know the sayings.  People don't just say this.  It is said because over and over again, a hobo was found to be with a sharp object, causing a bit of a raucous. This may or not have been with another hobo or even with a girl scout who didn't want to share her cookies.  But it happened enough times so it actually became a 'thing people say.' So, I believe it is fair to assess most hobos will a) have a knife and b) apply said blade in the fiercest of ways if you do not give up those tagalongs!  If they are willing to cut a 10 yr old for a cookie just imagine what they would do to a decomposing dead guy for a pair of boots.  

Ready for  a knife fight!
If you take anything away from this, it should be that hobos are amazing people.  Hard workers who look out for each other but don't always want to fit in the mold of our modern society.  They could be the one thing that keeps you from "catching the Westbound" when the world starts to crumble... much like a cookie... a delicious girl scout cookie you won in a knife fight.  Trust me, I know.  Remember, I'm a hobointologist. So, choose a really bad ass, post-apocalyptic hobo name and make a new friend.  Did I mention they have a yearly convention?  There is a parade and everything!  It looks awesome.  Grab your knapsack, darlings but ditch the overalls and as always, stay pretty and prepare!